BLENDED FAMILIES

Blended families are really difficult and are easy to give up on. A very interesting thing that I've learned while we have been discussing blended families this week in class is, give it time. Give a blended family at least 2 years to get better, or to be able to see success.

People need to understand that blended families are never easy and require a lot of attention and TLC. You're not the odd one out if your family is struggling and it is blended, families are difficult already and then try putting two together in a cohesive way, it is difficult.

Be aware, if there is one very important thing besides time that I've learned about blended families it would be awareness. Help things along by being aware of everyone and trying to cater and fix people issues in the home or with eachother. Again, it is difficult, but with time and awareness it can be positive.

PARENTING

How do you plan on parenting? For me I realize that sometimes I find that I "parent" children that I babysit or my nieces and nephews, just the way my parents raised me. Of course, like anyone, I'm going to change certain things my parents did, but in all reality I don't plan on differing much on how they parented me.
Do you plan on disciplining your kids with time out, etc.?
Do you plan on finding the time to help build their self esteem and self worth?
Do you realize you need to treat your children with the same respect you require of them?

These questions are often things you don't think about until you are actually having a child or when the problem arises with the child, we need to make these decisions now that way when we have children we can be CONSTANT. However, as I'm sure we all know, we'll need to cater to our different children in their own individual needs, but we still need to be constant in our parenting strategies.

I recently wrote a research paper that consisted of working mothers and the effects on the maturing family, and as part of the research I found that children need consistency most of all from their parents, especially their mother figure.

Plan your parenthood now, because before you know it, it will be put to the test.

FATHERS

Fathers play such a huge role in our families and yet they are so underappreciated, I think. My father is my idol. I don't know what I would do without his love and support in my life.
A fathers influence on his daughter is so great. So powerful, in fact, even if a father gives a reassuring smile to his daughter it can change he day dramatically. There is something about being a girl that when you know your father loves, protects, admires, respects, and wants the best for you, that makes you feel safe. Fathers make children in the family feel safe and wanted and loved in a different way then mothers. Mothers are nuturing and loving while fathers are protective and fierce in their love, a love that is a necessity, if you ask me. I love my father and know I would do anything for him becuase he does everything and more for me.

COMMUNICATION!!!

Communication is so important. It is very important that a family and more importantly a couple can come to a consensus of what a they or their family needs to do. Compromising is not the only way, couples need to work together and with and through the Lord to come to the correct conclusion to the problem or question at hand. The Lord is there for us, to counsel with us. We must always be willing and want to ask the Lord what He would have us do. As we discussed in my class, communication with each other and through the Lord amazing things can happen. Things that are so unexpected and a complete blessing can happen. We need to remember this. We can't go about life alone in making decisions let alone with two sets of opinions butting heads. So, when there is question communicate not only with each other but with the Lord.

In times of crisis...

How does your familiy cope with crisis situations? Is it different if it is external or internal. Meaning, when things happen to your family that causes uproar or contention is it harder when it has to do with the family (internal) or something like a fathers job loss (external). I've found in my family we haven't had a lot of crisis situations, my dad did recieve a big pay cut and lost all of his retirement. That was a big change and hardship on our family, but during this crisis we all came together, and took more responsibility in our spendings, even with my own money, I find I'm much more conservativie. Dealing with crisis situations can be hard, and sometimes tear families apart. We need to change that and use crisis situations to bring our families even closer together, use bad situations and use them to strengthen the family unit. I love my family even when we have internal crisis, and i'm very angry with some people, i love them and we can all forgive and forget and come closer together. That is the most important thing. We cannot let Satan win, we need to pull together during these times.

When is the right time to tell them?

In our society today talk of sexual relations is becoming more and more prevalent. Talk of this goes on in schools all around, even, elementary schools. Do you want your kids to learn things about sexual relations in school from kids who don't even know what they are talking about? It is a difficult situation. Before our conversation in my Family Relations class I didn't want to bombard my innocent children with this sort of information, however, they will be bombarded with it in school and told incorrect things from their peers. I need to be the one to break the ice to tell them the in's and out's of puberty and sexual relationships and how we view it as a sacred thing in our church. As to the age... It will depend for each child, however, I would try to let them know before their friends can lead them astray on the topic. Be the grown up and inform your kids, don't make it awkward or embarassing, tell the facts and tell our stance, as The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, is on it. Be the one to tell your children.

Wedding or Marriage?

Which one is more important to you, the wedding or the marriage? I can tell you right now that the marriage is way more important that the wedding is to me, however, we know every girl looks forward to her wedding day, there is no doubt. What is more important than being sealed for time and all eternity to the person of your dreams? I've been thinking about this a lot lately, no matter how spectacular your wedding is, will it be as spectacular as an eternity of love and happiness with your eternal companion? Truthfully, the wedding is nothing compared to a healthy relationship with your spouse, not with your spouses family or with you family and the spouse. What REALLY matters is the solid relationship that you have with your spouse. The person you make covenants with. This insight this week in class has really opened up my mind to the fact that the wedding really doesn't matter. Sure, I want it to look great, but it is inevitable that something will go wrong. I'd rather have something go wrong on my wedding day than in my marriage. Create a strong bond with your spouse and rely on eachother, you two are the only ones that matter once you're married. Concentrate on the relationship, always.

DATING

Dating, why does it always seem so daunting. Even here at BYU-Idaho we have some problems with dating. Guys, girls don't want to hang out. Go ahead, man up and ask us out on a date. It makes it difficult to form any sort of relationship when the only setting you see someone you like in, is in a big group. Don't be scared of the one on one, that goes for girls too. Dating one on one is really telling about a person, it lets you get to know them and truly understand who they are. Dating may seem daunting but it doesn't have to be. If we are being honest with ourselves, guys and girls both want to participate in dating one on one. Hanging out isn't going to get you places with someone you are truly interested in. Date. It's okay to date. Dating is good and healthy. Going on a date doesn't commit you to someone for eternity, going on a date is to have a fun time and get to know the other person better. Go on a date, do it.

Homosexual? Gay? Same-Sex Attraction?

It is pretty common today to find someone relatively close to you "declare" themselves gay. I have a close family friend, and as he was growing up was extremely musically gifted. He played the piano with magnificence and grace. At one point he was an apprentice to the director of the Mormon
Tabernacle Choir. During high school he went on plenty of dates and had plenty of friends, but at home his family life didn't seem so "put together." Eventually one thing led to another and it was time for him to serve a mission and he bolted. He moved out and started acting on same-sex attraction. To this day I infer that he wasn't getting the recognition and attention he deserved with all of the ridicule and judgment being placed on him even when he was, from an outsiders view, "good." I don't know what persuaded this and I'm not even sure if his family knows. Why do you think he decided to change like this? What do you think pushed him to this point? All I know is it was very unexpected.

What's your role?

It is interesting to see in my own family our roles. As we discuss in my Family Relations class about our roles in our family I find that our family shares a lot of the roles. I'm the youngest and generally they are easy going, sit idly by, in a sense. And yet, I feel as though I notice more things than majority of my siblings, when it comes to responsibility and helping people out. My brother once called me the "glue that holds our family together," the funny part is our family is so strong that by being the glue I keep the peace. I wonder how my sibilings feel about their roles and if they think they fit their roles? Do you think you fit your role? I'd love to hear some thoughts. I don't think I fit my role very well... but I do love them. This is a picture of my baptism day. The day I became and official member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints.

What does family mean to you?

Family is such a central and important thing to this world. It is something that Heavenly Father created so that we can have an essential part of life. Without families we are nothing. So, what is family? To me family mean a unit that will always be there. Family is consists of loving parents and siblings. Like, The Family: A Proclamation to the World, the family should consist of a mother and a father. I don't think that same sex marriage and "parents" are something that intended. Nature is meant for husband and wife. Your thoughts?

The Greatest Joy in Life

I'm only 18. It seems strange to think about having children at this stage in my life. But, are we not commanded by Heavenly Father to multiply and replenish the earth. In today's society it is easy to put off marriage and children. Unfortunately. Doesn't the world see that without bringing more lives to this earth that eventually we won't be able to support ourselves? Not only are children essential to the survival of America and the world but children are central to Gods plan. We need the cuties running around. It is so frustrating to me to see members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints put off or limit child bearing. The Lord has created women for a great purpose to bring lives into this magnificent world. As wifes and parents we need to remember our sacred duty and bring the spirits waiting on the other side of the veil. They need to have the experience of being on the earth in this state to be tested. Are you that selfish that you won't give your child that opportunity? Listen to the Spirit let him lead you to your future spouse as well as your future children. They love you, now, remember them!